EXELINYA BURST

In the screenshot you see...well...I guess it's a girl-like object. She's attacking dessert with a retractable claw and the word EXPLOSION is listed at least twice. This is more than enough to figure out that you just might want this game.

The concept revolves around using the claw to grab all the fruit and other assorted junk floating around and fling it at other junk to cause explosions. These explosions lead to more explosions and pretty soon the entire screen is just blowing up as all the ruthless, horrible, and just plain nasty foods die in explosions that look like somebody created them with MSpaint. These explosions chain together like Missile Command or Every Extend Extra so it's perfectly acceptable that tons of stuff can blow up in a very short amount of time. As the scores climb the rate of survival drops steadily and the player must destroy ever more legions of sweets before they run out of time and I dunno die of overeating or something.

The whole game looks like something a game programmer might have done while high on...sawdust? Look I really don't know what kind of drugs people do to make games like these. I think sleep-deprivation is another part of it as well. I role-play as an insomniac so when I'm awake for more than 24 hours I start seeing a lot of floating objects and strange colors myself. Afterwards I freak out and start throwing candy at birthday cakes and wondering why my room-mate just threw me out of the house. If I had converted my energy towards something productive like making a doujin game maybe I'd uh...well I dunno I certainly wouldn't be rich and famous. I'd probably get thrown out of the house anyway for making something so random.

Somehow through all the madness this game is a lot of fun. The concept never really gets anywhere beyond "throw things at things = EXPLOSION" but everything starts moving so quickly and evil boss-desserts fall by the dozens before they even have a chance to appear on-screen. It's senseless and completely incomprehensible and yet at the same time it's addictive and fun.

It's also a PC game so if you're seriously too cheap to throw out the buck then just grab it for your computer. I won't hate you or anything.